Doing it Sly Way!

So here I am, somewhat hungry, so I think what in the hell do I have in the house to eat. After digging around in the freezer I decide to eat some eggrolls. So I get out a small skillet and pour a little oil in it, and turn it on to heat it. I go in the bedroom for a few minutes, I know the oil is going to take a few minutes to heat up. Thinking that I should check on it, I go out and see black billowing smoke coming from the stove. I think WTF, the heat isn't on that high.

What I didn't take into account, is that there was a Sam's size jug of chocolate covered raisins on the back of the stove, and I didn't turn on the front burner like I thought I did. Needless to say, plastic, heat, chocolate and raisins do not make for a wonderful smelling kitchen. I had to take the fan out of the bedroom and put it in the doorway to blow the smoke out of the house. It was bad.

Just now did I think how fitting of a death become of raisins. Anyone who knows me, knows that I think raisins are the spawn of the devil. Die devil die! Just doing my part to make the world a better place.

Life is lucky that I have a good sense of humor about things. Or may I am, I dunno.

So here is the day for me.

I wake to crackle crackle, crunch crunch crackle crackle........hell in the hell is that????? I look over the bed and low and behold it is Ace, with his head in an empty chip bad. WTF???? Upon further observation, and walking on eggshells......literally, I find that the dogs had took out the trash for me. I don't mean like out of the trash can, I mean strategically placing each item so I had to make a conscience effort not to step on it. Not an easy task in the middle of the night. Fine.

I finally get back to sleep, and then I feel them flop down on top of my legs. We are talking about 150 pounds of lard on my legs. I was too tired to even counsel them in a loud tone. Fine.

So I finally wake up at 8 AM, crap, grandma has to get to the hair dresser at 9:30 and we have to go to Lincoln. It's going to be a fun day girls!

This is how the conversation goes

Me: Grandma, you have a hair appointment in 20 minutes.
Grandma: I didn't know I had a hair appt, I thought I told her I didn't want to do it so often.
Me: We had to change it because you have a dr appt, you want to look good to go to Lincoln right.
Grandma: But I just don't remember having an appt today.
Me: We have 15 minutes to get there, are you ready to go.
Grandma: Okay, but I just don't remember making this appt
Me: Okay, but we need to get moving.
Grandma: Do I have money?
Me: Yes Grandma, you have money
Grandma: Oh...I can write a check
Me: We really need to get going we have 10 minutes before we need to be there.
Grandma: Do I have money?

ARGGGGGG!!!!!

This is how my day went, the next thing we discussed is why we need to go to the back dr. Is it helping? Yes. Then we will go until it isn't helping anymore. Rewind and reply 15 times.

I laugh about it now, and even then I was snickering.

We went to Sam's Club, Grandma, I and Danny. Danny says "Where's she going? She's going to get lost!!" So I look up and Grandma goes in to wander around.....so she starts out like a bat out of hell, I mean I can't catch up with her, normally she is laggin behind at least 3 paces behind me. WTH??? So I have to go and lay out the ground rules. She can look around but she has to meet us at the tables at the snack bar. Thankfully she was there, in the back of my mind I was scared I was going to have to call a Code Adam. Can you imagine a full lock down in Sams for a 89 old woman, gray hair dressed in navy blue outfit?

Fortunately we all got home in one piece, but I am exhausted. This is why I could never run a Granny Daycare will more than one Granny.  
 

Well, it wasn't easy but yes I got banned. Not only did I get banned, but my account got poofed. OK, my name is still there, but I can't sign in at all. All I have to say is those people are a bunch of prick bastards.

On to my life, it's been raining all day long, stupid Ike! I'm not sure what pissed him off so bad, but I think if his wife would have given him some, he wouldn't have developed into a tropical depression and eventually evolving into a full fledged fit. Men. What can you say?

Please say a little prayer for those that are left in Ike's path.

I cannot believe how stupid Huraldo Rivera is, stand out in the middle of a cat 4 hurricane. I he certainly is a canidate for the Darwin awards.

Everyone know that you should not shop for food when you are hungry, but the question is, should you not go to events when you are really......how should I say this......partnerly challenged? I mean, it's been quite some time since I had a warm body in my bed, and well, I went to a college football game. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY MEN ARE THERE? Holy shit. It was horrible. I'm sitting there drooling all over myself. It was like an Ethopian at a feast. I was thinking Oh My Gawd, look and those two sweet pieces of veal sitting right in front of me. I would be all over that like flies on well you get the picture. Next thing I know, I'm scoping out an finely aged piece of steak. Oh Yummy!

I have come to the conclusion that I really need a date. I don't know if my self control can take another event like that.

I have come to the conclusion I need more friends my age. It seems that either I am hanging out with ladies that are 80+ or teenagers. With my free time I am either at home, or at home. Man I need a life. 

Once again I have slacked on keeping my blob up to date. A lot of things have changed in my life. I quit the cable job, not that I didn't like the work, I did, but the management was less than desirable to work for. So I decided to persue other opportunities.

I am now going back to school full time, online taking 3 classes this semester, philosophy, algebra, and beginning web master. So far my favorite one is my philosophy "For the Love of Wisdom" class. I am also taking care of my elderly grandmother, who is moderate dementia. She has her good days and bad. I needed to take her to Lincoln today for her remicade treatment, we had a pretty good day, until we got home and she fell when she got out of the car. I sprang out of the car hoping she didn't break a hip. Thankfully she got up, and all she had was a skinned knee.
I feel so bad.

So I got a new job, fantastic huh? I do love it, but I go into some of the weirdest houses. One house had a million kids, and I'm pretty sure was an illegal gun seller and a deal may have gone down while we were there. Another house was in a creepy little town, that in the past had some cult killings, man raped with rake handle, so anyway I didn't really want to be in the town at all. A river rat town, everything runned down, road not even paved and very rutted. This house I had to go to was trashed, I mean literally, trash everywhere, so I'm at my truck tailgate and I look over and I see a deer hoof, It was sawed off about 8 inches about the hoof and had about 4 inches of bare bone and 2 inches of fur and then the hoof, needless to saw I picked up the pack of the work.

There will be many stories to come, so stayed tuned.

Every one......meet Mandy

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Here she is with her big brother Ace.

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So I totally stole a friends title on her blog, but I'm pretty sure she won't mind. Right Shaye? So, what have I been up to since Jan? Well.....lots. The guy I was dating, he dumped me on the internet, oh well it was for the best, he had to be a real jerk to end it that way. I have gotten a job, but haven't started because I have been waiting 3 weeks for my background check to come back. I started a business Pet Bistro, making dog treats. I've gotten 1 order so far, but I'm hoping it will pick up. Oh and I started my computer college classes, I was slightly intimidated but I'm better now.

I will try my best not to be so long between posts.

A night ago I had a dream that Susie Meyer came in my room and woke me up. Susie is a lady from my home town, nice, but not someone that I have ever hung out with let alone to come in my house. Anyways, she woke me up and congratulated me on getting the job. I assumed it was for UPS since Susie works for UPS. I was confused because I thought I didn't get the job since I hadn't gotten a phone call.

Well, yesterday was the day I was suppose to get the phone call if I got hired, and it didn't ring. I need to get my interview clothes ready for BNSF, that will be a marathon interview day. Maybe that is the better job for me, or maybe I haven't even applied for the job that is meant for me.